Home>Articles>Sen. Rand Paul’s Annual ‘Festivus’ Report: $482,276,543,907 of Government Waste

U.S. Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY). (Photo: paul.senate.gov)

Sen. Rand Paul’s Annual ‘Festivus’ Report: $482,276,543,907 of Government Waste

The waste includes a steroid-induced hamster fight club, a study to see if kids love their pets, and a study of the romantic patterns of parrots

By Katy Grimes, December 27, 2022 10:22 am

U.S. Sen. Rand Paul just released his annual “Festivus Report” of wasteful government spending. The 2022 listing does not disappoint – until you remember you are paying for this abuse of taxpayers’ funds by electing the congressional wastrels.

Festivus is a holiday celebrated on December 23rd, created on the Jerry Seinfeld Show by Frank Costanza, George Costanza’s father, as an alternative to Christmas. According to Seinfeld Fandom, “He came upon the idea after pummeling a man in the face in a toy-store dispute over a doll (for George). In his own words, ‘As I rained blows upon him, I realized, ‘There had to be another way!’”

Festivus features an aluminum pole instead of a Christmas tree due to Frank finding tinsel “distracting.” At dinner, the Airing of Grievances is conducted, in which the celebrants tell each other what the other has done to irritate them that year.

Thus, Sen. Rand Paul’s list of annual grievances.

Here’s Sen. Paul’s open:

“Last Festivus, we lamented over the national debt reaching an astronomical $28.4 trillion. Shockingly, in one short year, the career politicians and bureaucrats in Washington have managed to breeze right past $30 trillion without so much as a second thought. The debt has risen so rapidly that the Congressional Budget Office projects that, within the next 30 years, there is not a single year in which the federal budget will balance.”

Paul highlights “a whopping $482,276,543,907 of waste, including a steroid-induced hamster fight club, a study to see if kids love their pets, and a study of the romantic patterns of parrots.”

“No matter how much money’s already been wasted, politicians keep demanding even more,” Paul says.

Is this Sen. Paul’s coup de grâce?

The Small Business Administration made $4.5 billion worth of improper COVID-19 Economic Injury Disaster Loans.

“I have a lot of problems with federal spending, and now you’re gonna hear all about them!” Paul adds.

Here is the list of refuse we taxpayers are on the hook for: The Waste of 2022

  • Giving ineligible citizens COVID Economic Injury Disaster Grants (SBA)…..$4,500,000,000
  • Using COVID relief funds to construct an 11,000 square foot spa…………….. $140,000,000
  • Using COVID relief funds to purchase luxury cars ……………………………..$31,500,000
  • Wisconsin school using COVID relief funds to upgrade turf fields………………..$1,600,000
  • Camouflage uniforms that do not fit the Afghanistan environment (DOD)……..$28,000,000
  • Funding a 1.5-mile park in Austin, Texas, used for yoga and concerts (DOD)…….$9,000,000
  • Starbucks espresso machines (DOD)………………………………………………$192,592
  • Interest Payments on the Debt (Treasury)……………………………………$475,000,000,000
  • Maintaining 77,000 empty Federal buildings (GSA)……………………………$1,700,000,000
  • “Basic education” projects in Jordan (USAID)………………………………….$210,069,000
  • Expanding the Washington, D.C. Streetcar that’s rarely used and unreliable…….$175,000,000
  • Helping illegal immigrants avoid deportation (DHS)………………………….. $168,000,000
  • Mismanaged and un-tracked fuel purchases (State)……………………………… $77,000,000
  • Subsidizing the free New York Staten Island Ferry (DOT)………………………..$70,000,000
  • Overpaying government contractors for a terminated contract (GSA)…………..$69,000,000
  • East Baton Rouge unused federal housing grants (HUD)…………………………$13,400,000
  • Boosting the Tunisia travel sector during COVID-19 (USAID)………………….$50,000,000
  • Unused hotel rooms for illegal immigrants (DHS)……………………………….$17,000,000
  • Constructing a Gandhi museum…………………………. ………………………..$3,000,000
  • Watching hamsters fight on steroids (NIH)………………………………………..$3,000,000
  • Super Bowl commercials telling you to fill out the Census (Commerce)…………$2,500,000
  • Injecting 6-month-old beagle puppies with cocaine (NIH)…………………………$2,300,000
  • Encouraging Ethiopians to wear shoes (NIH)………………………………………………$2,100,000
  • Training mice to binge drink alcohol (NIH)……………………………………….$1,100,000
  • Studying the romance between parrots (NSF)……………………………………………$689,222
  • Studying the social life and collective intelligence of ants (NSF)……………………..$675,000
  • Using mice to study racial aggression (NIH)…………………………………………$519,828
  • Redeveloping the United States hard cider market (USDA)……………………….. $491,794
  • A radio campaign telling drivers to stop at railroad crossings (DOT)………………..$200,000
  • Verifying that kids love their pets (NIH)……………………………………………$187,500
  • Researching if Thanos could snap his fingers wearing the infinity gauntlet (NSF)..$118,971

If you aren’t already thoroughly peeved, the highlights’ details will do it:

“Four people managed to use over $31.5 million in COVID-19 relief funds to purchase luxury cars. You’ve got that right: you helped four people – one of whom isn’t even a U.S. citizen – purchase luxury cars” – Porsches, Ferraris and even Lamborghinis. One managed to purchase a whole “fleet” of luxury cars using $17 million taxpayer dollars, 18 which included a Corvette Stingray, a Porsche Macan and a Bentley Convertible. Of that, the Federal government has only recouped $7.2 million.

Another man used $5 million in Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) loans to purchase a Lamborghini and Ferrari, ‘among other luxury cars.’”

“So, while many Americans were stuck at home making banana bread and watching Tiger King, these individuals were living it up with the top down in their fancy cars,” Paul said.

A Special Inspector General for Afghanistan Reconstruction (SIGAR) report revealed that the Department of Defense (DOD) spent roughly $28 million on forest-patterned, “camouflage” uniforms to use in the deserts of Afghanistan. It was later found that the camouflage uniforms were “not based on an evaluation of its appropriateness for the Afghan environment.”

The Department of Defense spent $192,592 on espresso machines from Starbucks.

Of course, Sen. Paul includes the $1.9 trillion omnibus package for 2023, noting:

“Just days before Christmas, the big spenders in Washington jammed through” the omnibus bill.

“They released it in the dead of night, allowed for no real debate, and nobody in Washington even read the thing before being asked to vote on it. When this is how Congress funds the government, is it any wonder net interest payments on the debt rose to $475 billion for fiscal year 2022?”

In 2021, the Department of Health and Human Services’ Office of Refugee Resettlement provided the Vera Institute of Justice $168 million with a one-year contract to provide free legal services to help illegal immigrants avoid deportation.

I’d like to tell you to enjoy Sen. Paul’s annual Festivus Report by reading it here, but I won’t. Instead, enjoy the Senator’s wit and cynicism, but remember that boiling anger building inside of you when you next vote.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Spread the news:

 RELATED ARTICLES

3 thoughts on “Sen. Rand Paul’s Annual ‘Festivus’ Report: $482,276,543,907 of Government Waste

  1. Does anyone actually believe there was a study of Thanos snapping his fingers that cost $118,000?? Maybe 1 grand was spent and the rest went into someone’s pocket. Same for the rest. What is called waste is actually corruption on steroids.

  2. Interest payment on Debt (Treasury) $450,000,000,000 – LOL
    New this morning, $2.5 million for Senators home security… also additional funding for House and Dignitaries
    It will be a pleasure watching these jackals fall, coming soon!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *