A Tip for DeSantis: He Needs a Win in Newsom Debate… Here’s How

Thursday, Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis and California Gov. Gavin Newsom will face off on Fox in the great “Red State Vs. Blue State” debate, AKA the GovShove or the Acrimonica in Alpharetta or Sir Galahad’s Lament .

Whatever it is dubbed, the debate is important for both men, with DeSantis – why didn’t he wait until 28? –  having to prove that his terrible campaign has been a mere eight-month “oopsy” and with Newsom having to prove that he is a human being and not just an autobot bred for office by the San Francisco elite .

Over the past few months – with DeSantis’ campaign having been a central Asian multiple incursion that Meg Whitman’s and Jeb Bush’s consultants would be proud of – it had seemed that Ron needed this way more than Gavin.

But with the largely negative fallout from Newsom’s global galivant and the growing national public realization that California is an utter mess –  Gavin now needs it to go very well, too. That means Gavin will most likely go full jargonaut as he usually does when asked to, um, “explain” why the state is in such a roiling mess (remember, this is billed as the “Red State Vs. Blue State” debate.)

DeSantis cannot let that happen, he cannot let Newsom confuse-a-buster his way through the 90 minutes.  He needs to throw him off his game from nearly the get-go – let the nation see Gavin in all his nonsensical glory for a few minutes and then drop the hammer.

And, amazingly enough considering who, what, and where he is now, DeSantis should take a cue from Stephen Colbert – yeah that guy.

Because before his utter woker-than-woke conversion was complete, Colbert could make a good point here and there.  With one guest – I cannot find the clip and am pretty sure it’s waaaaay buried or literally gone – near the beginning of the Hilary/Barack Democratic nomination contest he agreed that Obama shifted personas based upon his audience and tended to be “as black as it was convenient to be.”

Interviewing Gavin in 2013 about his book Citizenville – imagine reading Gavin instead of merely having to listen to him – Colbert actually called him out on his nonsense:

Newsom: “The whole idea is this: Right now we have a broadcast model of governing. You vote and I decide. You understand this intimately. You’ve seen the contours of this change with the media, you’ve seen it, certainly, in the music industry. Big is getting small, small is getting big. Technology has the ability to level the playing field—

Colbert: “What the fuck does any of that mean? … The big is getting small and the small is getting big? What are you talking about? Is there a glossary [in the book]? Is there a bullshit translator?”

It is this type of thing DeSantis must do, in part because it is absolutely 100% true and in part because Newsom really really doesn’t like it when he is challenged and he will be on his back foot for the rest of the debate.

Recall this gem from the Newsom recall campaign, his chat with the editorial folks from the Bee newspapers:

That’s the Newsom DeSantis wants to debate and the Newsom the nation needs to see with its own eyes.

A note: while Twitter can often be a morass of irritation, occasionally a comment appears that is hilariously on-point.  So credit where credit is due, Pete Campbell @googlewell, for coming up with this gem after watching the video:

“Good thing California doesn’t have nuclear weapons.”

This sort of unhinged tetchiness is not a DeSantis problem. If you recall DeSantis dealing with a hostile national press corps when the national press corps saw him as a threat, you will know that is true: he calmly wiped the floor with reporter after reporter and that’s how he needs to approach Newsom.

Newsom’s thin skin – a product of California’s cosseted, cradle-to-grave, challenge-free environment that is the political equivalent of a climate-controlled, custom built, full-time gardener attended, glassed-in arboretum, a hothouse designed to grow only one type of flower and a flower that does not transplant well beyond state lines – has on occasion been on display before.

While – save for the recall question – the local press has not dared to confront him about anything ever in the past decade or so, at one point it did, showing that Newsom’s tendency to lash out and whine is not a recent issue.  

Here is then-San Francisco Mayor Newsom responding to a reporter’s question about underage drinking and then referencing reports that Gavin’s 20-year-old girlfriend at the time has appeared drinking in public:

2007. Members of a Yale singing group were beaten up by other college kids while visiting San Francisco.

Then Mayor Gavin Newsom is asked about it and says that underaged drinking is to blame.

The reporter then asks Newsom about reports that his 20 year old girlfriend has been… pic.twitter.com/pFmzTqO3HZ

— MAZE (@mazemoore) November 26, 2023

Newsom went to rehab – sorry, re-centered his life – shortly thereafter.

If DeSantis can unleash the real Gavin – the petulant, coddled, selfish, actually not terribly bright – Newsom he will not only prove he is really ready for the big leagues but also unmask Newsom for the manque he is, hopefully sparing the nation from having to listen to him for the next five years.

Oh, and he would make Kamala very very very happy, too.

BONUS! – For a truly immersive Gavining, see and listen to the governor explaining why government can’t fix everything as quickly as it “fixed” the I-10 after the fire:

I asked @GavinNewsom whether the urgent, all hands on deck approach used to re-open the 10 freeway can be used to address other crises, like homelessness in California?

Here's how he responded: pic.twitter.com/Qsl8867lZ5

— Elex Michaelson (@Elex_Michaelson) November 19, 2023

BONUS QUESTION!  The Globe challenges any English teacher on the planet to diagram that sentence (or sentences or paragraph or whatever.)