Girls’ Sports: Misogyny Masquerading as Empathy

There are truths in life that are objective. Constant. They are not influenced by personal beliefs, the culture at large, or opinions. They are facts. Absolutes. The earth orbits the sun. The heart pumps blood. All living organisms will one day die.  

A boy is a boy.

A girl is a girl.

A boy cannot be a girl.

A boy who says he is a girl is still a boy.

2 + 2 will never equal 5.

Yet here we are, face to face with the lunacy that we all must deny biological reality and not only accept the lie, we must participate in it. Those who refuse to let the lie go through them are bullied. The female athlete who states the obvious is ridiculed and shamed. Women who demand safety by their refusal of XY chromosomes in their spaces are mocked by the males who don the costume of their choosing. All will experience some form of character assassination.  

Ridicule in the name of tolerance.

Bullying under the guise of compassion.

Misogyny masquerading as empathy.

Between memory-holing, doublethink, newspeak and the clear instruction to ignore the evidence of your eyes and ears, we are witnessing the rights, safety and language of women being erased. It’s almost as if George Orwell was a time traveler.

It’s maddening.A man cannot “feel like a woman” for the same reason that he can’t “feel like” an elephant.He isn’t one.

His perception of what it means to “feel like” can only be based on his own perceived cliches of what a woman is. Women are not just men with long hair, polished nails, wearing feminine clothing and make-up, adopting imagined girlish behavior, like an actor playing a researched role. Being female is not a costume or a creation of the imagination, but it is precisely from the imagination that gender ideology begins.  

Every cell of a human body betrays a person’s gender. Should an archaeologist stumble upon the decayed body of a human being, that body will betray the individual as male or female. Whatever a person decides to identify as is irrelevant because it is binary and no one has a choice. That is science. That is truth. There is no being born in the wrong body. Gender affirmation is indulgence and lies. There is no amount of surgical intervention that will change who you are. Your genetics state male or female and you have no choice in the matter.

It is lunacy.Whether it is the changing room, restroom, or locker room, it is lunacy that men are granted access to the safe spaces of women.When you have condoms readily available in prisons because men pretending to be women are housed with real women and have ready victims at their disposal, the anger is hard to stifle.

There are tampons in boys’ bathrooms, taxpayer funded sex changes, and bearded men in makeup and dresses. The loophole for men to mock and bully women is wide open all because someone says the magic words, “I identify as…” 

Shut up and take it because if you don’t, you are transphobic, a bigot, and a racist. Shut up and accept the lie. It is the misogyny of fanatics disguised as empathy.

A boy who says he is a girl is still a boy, so why are we allowing boys to participate in girls’ sports?  

Women who had an affinity for sports and competition overcame barriers to create opportunities where none existed. Before the introduction of Title IX, women’s sports were limited, non-competitive, and considered purely recreational. It was a world where females were not only excluded from athletic opportunities, they were also denied recognition, financial reward, and resources such as uniforms and equipment. 

But it wasn’t just about athletic opportunities. It was about a woman’s right to participate in her sport of choice on an equal playing field. Title IX meant fairness in girls’ sports. It acknowledged fundamental differences between boys and girls and has allowed girls to compete without being crushed and dominated by boys.  

As we witness more boys participating in girls’ sports with more frequency, we see the slow destruction of what women fought so hard for. We see the slow destruction of girls’ sports by transforming an all-girl team to a co-ed team. It changes an all-girl competition to a co-ed competition. Whether it is one or 100, every male in female sports diminishes the integrity of girls’ sports and contributes to the erasure of women. It shoves girls aside to where they were before Title IX. But girls should not have to make the sacrifice of allowing boys in the sports designated for females, nor should they be told that they must sacrifice their safety, their scholarships, recognition, or positions to make way for males who decide to grow out their hair, put on a bit of make up and tell everyone that they must accept the lie. A boy’s “gender identity” should not override a girl’s ability to have her own aspirations and rewards. A boy’s “gender identity” should not rob girls of their dignity, ribbons, medals, and value.  

It’s difficult to understand why there are women who have turned on their own sex to defend males in female spaces. Why that position after the many battles that women have had to fight? Attention? Misplaced emotions? Notoriety? A noble cause? What better feeling is there than to be saving the world or defending the weak? Except all you’re really doing is pushing a lie.

Are we supposed to ignore what is happening and never take a stand?  

Conversations and suggestions always revolve around the female athlete stepping away from the sport she loves or boycotting the competitions she trained so hard for. How simple it is to just forfeit, boycott, or walk away when it’s not about you.

How do you expect these incredible girls to do that when they have spent their lives preparing for those moments of recognition?  The daily practices that consume large portions of their days?  The ones who have the strength to step aside or walk away are some of the bravest girls we’ll ever know because they are willing to give up their dreams and goals for this fight.

How can we ask them not to show up when we won’t show up for them?

We are asking them to do things that we aren’t willing to do ourselves. Rather than let them take on the world on their own, isn’t it time we stood with them shoulder to shoulder? We make a lot of excuses as to why we don’t show up, but isn’t it really because we don’t want to face the criticism? Most of us prefer to live our lives with our heads down, hoping that no one notices us.

Sometimes you have to share in the discomfort. It’s not enough to rest on the work that others have put in. It’s not enough to talk about it in private circles.  It’s not enough to look around and ask, “Why doesn’t someone…”

Why don’t YOU?

We no longer have the luxury of standing idly by while we wait for someone else to save the day. We cannot continue to outsource our courage to the same people who are willing to take the heat so that we can sit comfortably and wait for it all to go away.

It won’t go away. Without you, our girls lose. Without you, our girls will grow up without having experienced the joy and accomplishment that comes with winning because a boy will have cheated and stolen her place.  

It is time for you to stand up and fight for our girls and fight for their futures.  Make the phone calls, send the emails, show up to meetings, join the rallies, speak up. Don’t let the other side bully you into silence.  

School board members, there is a Resolution in support of Title IX and Fairness in Girls’ Sports that you can pass. Authored by Sonja Shaw, President of the Chino Valley Unified School Board and candidate for California State Superintendent of Public Instruction, she is encouraging other school boards to adopt the resolution because “elected officials are supposed to be the voice of the people. 

“For years, we begged leaders to defend common sense and now we are that voice. Girls deserve fairness in sports and privacy in locker rooms. School board members across California must lead with courage and integrity. Take a stand.  Protect our girls. That is the promise of Title IX.”