This Thanksgiving, Thank a Republican Farmer

Apart from tech, agriculture reigns supreme in the state of California, with a whopping $61.2 billion in annual receipts, according to the California Dept of Food and Agriculture, a peculiar political harvest trend has taken root. Forget the old red vs. blue county map. Here, it’s more like almonds vs. avocados. The essential crops of the Central Valley – those grown by folks who value hard work, water rights, and a good pickup truck – lean Republican. The fact is, the state that feeds the nation is itself divided like a poorly irrigated plot.

California’s agricultural diversity means many crops are grown across multiple counties; production is often concentrated in specific regions due to climate, soil, and water availability.

So, let’s break it down by crop category, based on the latest available USDA data (primarily 2022–2024 crop years). Spoiler: The Republicans grow the backbone stuff, while Democrats handle the “trendy” and feel-good salads.

Field crops like tomatoes are Republican, processed in Fresno, Kings, Merced, Colusa, San Joaquin, Tehama counties (all voting Red), save for Yolo and San Benito’s Democratic bases. Tomatoes are the crops that make your pasta sauce possible, grown by the folks who know efficiency trumps endless environmental impact studies.

Rice, the Sacramento Valley staple, is a solidly Republican crop from Colusa, Butte, Sutter, Glenn, Placer counties. It’s amusing how rice, a water-guzzler, survives in conservative counties that fight for every drop against Sacramento’s water-grabbing policies.

Cotton and hay/alfalfa too join Republican ranks, spun and baled in Kern, Fresno, Kings, and Imperial, red heartlands where farmers prioritize production over pronouns. Your hand towels, dinner tablecloths, napkins and the clothes you wore to Thanksgiving Dinner, are made possible partially by conservative farmers.

Almonds, with California producing 80% of the world’s supply, are solidly Republican crops. Grown in counties like Kern, Fresno, Stanislaus, Merced, Madera, San Joaquin, Colusa, and Tulare- all of which voted Red in 2024 – these nuts embody conservative grit: farmers battling droughts without whining for more government handouts. It’s no wonder almonds thrive in Republican strongholds; they’re tough, versatile, and don’t need coastal fog to feel special.

Pistachios too, dominating in Fresno, Kern, Kings, Tulare, and a token Yolo (the lone Democrat outlier). Nearly 99% of U.S. supply is grown there. These nuts are like the GOP base: resilient, expanding northward despite regulations that make you want to crack in frustration.

Walnuts? Republican through and through, hailing from Tulare, Fresno, San Joaquin, Butte, Glenn, Colusa, Tehama, with Sacramento and Solano as the slight blue interlopers. Again, nearly 99% of the entire U.S. supply grows here.

Grapes are overall Republican crops when counted in bulk production, with heavy hitters in Kern, Tulare, Fresno, Riverside, and Madera – all Red counties – which churn out impressive numbers of table grapes and raisins, and over 90% of U.S. production. Wine grapes are famously in Napa, Sonoma, and Mendocino which lean Democrat. Its hilarious: Republicans grow the grapes that actually feed people, while Democrats ferment them into overpriced vintages for Hollywood elite.

Oranges, too, are Republican crops, primarily in Fresno, Kern, Tulare, Riverside, San Bernardino – Red zones – with some in Ventura and San Diego as the blue outliers. Oranges represent sunny optimism, much like Reagan’s California dream, not the over regulated nightmare of today.

Avocados, though? Quintessentially Democrat crops, guac-ed in San Diego, Ventura, Santa Barbara, San Luis Obispo, Los Angeles, Monterey—all Blue. Avocados are the hipster’s delight: overpriced, trendy, and requiring vast water imports while progressive legislators lecture on “conservation”.

Others crops: Dates? (Riverside): Republican.  Hay/Alfalfa?  (Imperial, Fresno, Kern): Republican.

In this agricultural arena, Republicans cultivate the high-volume, essential crops that sustain America. It’s mildly comical: conservatives feed the masses with reliable staples, yet voters get labeled “backwards” by coastal elites munching organic salads. The divide underscores a broader truth: California’s Red counties embody self-reliance, battling regulations to produce abundance, while Blue ones prioritize aesthetics over output. If only we could bridge this gap with a bipartisan fruit salad.