Coyote Parable Spells Out Perfectly What’s So Wrong With California

It has been said that the love of truth lies at the root of much humor. Biting, caustic, even sarcastic humor can make us uncomfortable when it points out weakness or odd proclivities.

So is humor truth?

A friend sent me the following parable comparing California and Texas in a very funny way.

The Coyote, a Parable

California: The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.

A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor’s dog, killing it, then bites the Governor.

The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie “Bambi” and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.

He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.

He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases.

The Governor goes to hospital and spends  $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.

The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.

The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a “coyote awareness program” for residents of the area.

The State Legislature spends $2million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.

The Governor’s security agent is fired for not stopping the attack.

The state spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training on the  nature of coyotes.

PETA protests the coyote’s relocation and files a $5 million suit against the state.

****************

Texas

The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail.

A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.

The Governor shoots the coyote with his state-issued pistol and keeps jogging.

The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.

The buzzards eat the dead coyote.

…And that is why California is broke and Texas is not.

Ha ha ha. Funny, sarcastic, wry mocking humor. But true. There’s a reason it’s called “Crazifornia.”

Author Saul Bellow famously said, “California’s like an artificial limb the rest of the country doesn’t really need.”

He was on to something. California’s ridiculous policies speak for themselves:

• California banned Shark fin soup
• banned plastic straws
• banned fur products
• Saving death row murderers from the death penalty while passing a Constitutional Amendment to allow abortion up to and beyond the 9th month of pregnancy, as well as legalizing assisted suicide for the sick and elderly
• Legislating and mandating all-electric cars by 2030
• Enacting “World-Leading Plan” to Achieve 100 Percent Zero-Emission Vehicles by 2035 without having the electric grid to support it
• renewable energy mandate
• San Francisco reparations committee proposes to pay each multi-decade black resident of the City $5 million
• Gov. Gavin Newsom’s statewide Reparations Task Force has proposed an estimated $569 billion to be paid by the state for reparations (that’s two and a half times California’s current state budget which already is running a deficit) to give to black-Americans living in California for past discriminatory practices and slavery, despite that California was never a slave state. Some of the recent proposals were simply cash payouts of $350,000 to every African American and $250,000 for every black-owned business to help close the “racial wealth gap,” which is actually a social justice grievance, and not slavery.
• California is suffering under a plague of hundreds of thousands of homeless drug addicts living, pooping, peeing on the streets
• California has a serious spike in violent crime and theft
• highest-in-the-nation taxes and cost of living
• failing public schools
• a state-created water shortage
• Wildfire “season”
• Drought and floods at the same time
• hundreds of thousands of California businesses and residents fleeing to friendlier states
• California’s questionable $100 billion swing from Budget Surplus to Budget Deficit in One Year
• California $100 billion+ High Speed Rail boondoggle

Friends across the country say when California sneezes, the rest of the country gets a cold, as an example of California’s political influence across the country.

In California, Democrats have supermajority control of the state Legislature and the Governor’s office. Yet Gov. Gavin Newsom lashes out and attacks the right, the GOP, and red states, as he did in his January inaugural address:

“They silence speech, fire teachers, kidnap migrants, subjugate women, attack the Special Olympics, and even demonize Mickey Mouse.“
 
“All camouflaged under a hijacking of the word ‘freedom.’”
 
“But what they really want is more control – intrusive government, command over your most intimate decisions – when to have a family, how you raise your kids, how you love.”

That last statement is really rich coming from the Governor who still clings to his Covid State of Emergency powers three years after the order, and ruling by fiat, locked down 40 million people during Covid, issued more than 70 executive orders containing 561 provisions, and killed off half of the businesses in the state.

“Intrusive government, command over your most intimate decisions…” these controls are exactly what Gov. Newsom and the state’s Democrats impose and hold over the state’s residents.

The coyote parable is accurate about California’s policies and politicians.