Your Kid’s Video Games Aren’t the Problem – Tuning Them Out Might Be

Every time a new study about teens and screens hits the news, the same conversation starts about how screens has a negative impact. But as someone who grew up around screens and now works with young people on their mental health every day, I’ve seen that removal rarely solves the problem. Paying attention usually does.

When we look at video games and youth mental health, the research doesn’t support a simple verdict. Games aren’t automatically good or bad for us. What matters is context: why a young person is playing, who they’re playing with, and how they feel when they stop. You can only see that context if you’re watching closely. 

Through Path to Positivity, the youth mental health nonprofit I founded to change lives one mind at a time, I hear both sides. Young people tell me games help them decompress, keep in touch with friends who moved away, and find people who share their interests when they don’t fit in at school. For some, a game is the first place they felt good at something. For a kid with social anxiety, voice chat with a team can be practice for conversations that feel impossible in person.

They also tell me when it goes wrong: late nights that eat into sleep, nonstop scrolling with no connection, habits that feel less like play and more like escape. Those are real warning signs, and they deserve real attention. But a blanket ban treats the healthy experience and the harmful one the same way. It takes away the friendships and the confidence. Often the young person ends up more isolated than before, and less willing to talk about what’s going on.

Active monitoring works differently. It means knowing what games the young people in your life play and who they play with. It means noticing patterns, like whether they’re getting enough sleep, still seeing friends offline, and seeming calmer or more on edge after a session. It also means using the parental controls and privacy settings that most games and consoles already offer. Those tools let you limit playing time and control who can contact them without cutting them off completely.

At the end of the day, it all starts with conversation. The question that gets a young person to open up isn’t “How long have you been on that?” It’s “What do you like about it?” Ask who they play with. Ask how they feel when they log off. Sit down and watch or pick up a controller yourself. There are games that even offer games for parents to play with the kids, with one of the more recent examples being Roblox’s “Family Zone.” 

You’ll learn more from those moments than from any screen-time report. You’ll also be showing them you’re on their side, and that trust is the foundation of any mental health support.

To young people reading this: you know your experience better than anyone. Pay attention to which games leave you feeling better and which leave you drained, and be honest with the adults around you about both. When they can see what’s going on, they can help instead of guessing.

Saturday, Oct. 10, is World Mental Health Day. It’s a good moment to trade the off switch for something that works better: staying involved. Video games aren’t the threat to young people’s mental health they’re often made out to be. Looking away is.