Newsom for…Vice President?

Kamala Harris is bad at her job – that is a given.

Republicans say it, Democrats say it, independents say it, former staffers say it, the polls say it, and – with her consistent butchering of the English language – she pretty much says it herself .

From the get-go, it was clear Joe Biden had been cynically maneuvered into choosing her – the one opponent for the Democratic nomination that out and out called him a racist – as his veep.

When she got into office, she demanded a high-profile task from Biden and he gave her the border.  As with the re-nomination of Eric Garcetti – the cruel futility of that move makes it utterly apparent that the president (or the people who script, feed, walk, and medicate him) has a nasty and vengeful sense of humor.

It appears that the wish is that – if Biden does attempt to run for re-election – the movers and shakers in DC really want him to drop Harris as his vice president.

Interestingly, that would theoretically open her up to run for Feinstein’s seat and such a run has a built-in slogan: Too Stupid to be Veep but Smart Enough to be a Senator (Note – I cannot say I made that up as it appeared as a comment from someone I don’t recall in one of the many other stories about Harris’ incompetence so credit where credit is due wherever it is due.)

So, where does that leave the Democrats?

In a bit of a pickle.

Kicking the first Jamaico-Indian vice president in history to the curb would be an extremely problematic look for the party, especially considering its identity politics tunnel vision.

But it seemed there was a relatively easy fix for that  – simply slide Pete Buttigieg into the spot and get almost as many identity points for running the first openly gay vice presidential candidate. Though it would definitely not help with the Black vote, it might be enough to drive other election turnout numbers.

That concept, however, is no longer an option because of East Palestine. The transportation secretary was handed a pretty simple opportunity to appear sensitive, empathetic, and on the job – instead he was nasty, aloof, no help, late, and even managed to mis-pronounce the name of the town.

Coupled with supply chain issues, the still lurking freight rail system problems, the FAA’s computer whoopsie that grounded a whole day of flights, and his taking weeks and months off for paternity leave and his chances for moving up politically have become toast.

The rest of the Democrat bench is also a bit problematic. Elizabeth Warren? Doesn’t expand the base. Gretchen Whitmer? Apparently not interested. Amy Klobuchar? Possible but has the same problem as Harris with poorly treating her staff. J.B. Pritzker? Chicago crime and his blutocrat appearance are not vote winners. Hillary? Too perfect/funny/horrifying and then there’s the that creeping feeling that with her as veep Joe would definitely not survive to the end of the term.

Oprah? Interesting but probably not. Michelle Obama? Also interesting and, with Barack hanging around the White House there would, for better or worse, be at least one non-senile president on staff.

AOC and/or the rest of the squad? The ultimate gift to the Republicans. A moderate Democrat governor? Probably the best idea but absolutely never going to happen.

So, of the major players (at this point,) where does that leave us?

Hello, Gavin.

Telegenic (until he opens his mouth) – check.  Progressive bona fides – check and check; California has CO2 and methane detecting satellites – or Fartniks – for God’s sake.  Access to gobs of money – yup. A history of making sure he doesn’t raise taxes on his zillionaire personal friends? – what wealth tax? Can project the future of the Democratic party, as horrifying as that may seem? – he is the poster boy for it.

Politically, if asked it would be a no-brainer. He can keep is day job, he grows his national presence, and he sets himself up perfectly for a 2028 presidential run, either as the sitting vice president or as the “seasoned veteran campaigner who tried hard but couldn’t overcome the weakness of Biden.” (you will see that exact line in a paper in 2025.)

But isn’t he so self-absorbed and narcissistic that he could not from a personality standpoint handle the number two spot?  Not when he knows there’s something in it for him – he did that job for Jerry Brown for eight years.  

The scenario does have a flaw – the inherent weakness of Californian pols when they try to take their act on the road, but with a fawning collaborationist press that could be at least mitigated somewhat.

Vice President Gavin Newsom – I think I remember seeing those words in the Book of Revelations or Brave New World or The Lathe of Heaven or Dante or some sort of medieval bestiary.

Let’s hope we don’t see it next year.