I’m Not Touching You… Gavin Sees the World

So Galivant Newsom is off seeing the world.

Why is a governor doing so?

Well, first, Newsom already thinks California is a country so it’s appropriate to have its own foreign policy.

Second, he says he’s not running for president and therefore has to let the world know he is running for president.

Third – bonus credulous headlines and a chance to Twitterpander, or, since he’s going to China, Twitterpanda.

The addition of the stop in Israel to his pre-planned China trip should in no way be seen as political and is merely a way to tell Israelis that California stands with them…but not too much (see vile woke pro-Hamas protests and UC system professor statements) because that may irk the progressives he needs.  

In other words, visiting a hospital is okay – going to the front lines to rail against Hamas is not.

Still, Gavin is trying to at least strike a glancing blow against antisemitism one supposes.

But since he’s not running for president, why bother in the first place?  

Think back to your misspent youth and recall the “I’m not touching game” you and your siblings played while sitting in the car.  For you only child types, it went like this: Child A would hold their finger about 3 inches from the head of Child B and say “I’m not touching you.” Child A could say this just once but would eventually start repeating it over and over again until Child B had had enough and smacked Child A, who would then immediately complain to mom about being smacked.

Now imagine the game with a twist – while Child A is holding up his finger and saying “I’m not touching you,” he is also giving candy to Child B. In theory, that will keep Child A from getting smacked because that would end the cavalcade of Skittles from Child B.

That second variant on the game is the Newsom presidential campaign in a nutshell.  His not-very-in-the-shadows effort to either set up an actual run or secure his position as the “go to” candidate if and when Joe Biden’s chin falls off (what were those bumps?) or gets bit by Commander or simply wanders off is the finger to the head; the constant absurdly effusive praise is the candy to keep Biden from smacking him down a peg or two out of loyalty to Kamala.  

That and Kamala has not provided any candy to the administration at all, except for maybe one of those inedible giant sticky solidified lumps of ribbon candy every grandma has in a dish on her coffee table.  Eww.

If Gavin cared about the helping the people in Israel he would have scooped up the folks who were kind enough to give him a photo op in her hospital, and taken them with him and head home to California.

And if he cared enough about the actual fate of other humans around the world, that plane would be making at least a quick stop in Urumqi, China, the capital city of the Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region and make a statement against the CCP genocide program.

But no, Gavin will stay far away from there and meet government officials and sign happy green memoranda of understanding (MOU) about how everyone is going to be nice and China will stop building coal-fired power plants at a clip of one every 37-and-a-half-seconds.

Predicting the future now, big media will dutifully report on the joytalk of the MOUs and give Gavin a big win, all without mentioning the rather key paragraphs such documents typically carry California already has dozens of such international agreements.

Here are just two examples of those particular codicils – The document binding the state to the international ZEV (Zero Emission Vehicle) Alliance concludes thusly:  

“Participating in the ZEV Alliance shall have no legal effect; impose no legally binding obligation enforceable in any court of law or other tribunal of any sort; nor create any funding obligation; nor shall any of the participants be responsible for the actions of third parties or associates. Participation in the ZEV Alliance is neither a contract nor a treaty.”

And speaking of China, here’s the important part of last year’s climate change MOU between “THE MINISTRY OF ECOLOGY AND ENVIRONMENT OF THE PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF CHINA AND THE STATE OF CALIFORNIA OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA”:

“This Memorandum of Understanding is a voluntary initiative. lt does not create any legally binding rights or obligations and creates no legally cognizable or enforceable rights or remedies, legal or equitable, in any forum whatsoever. In addition, the pledges in this Memorandum of Understanding are not conditioned upon reciprocal actions by other Participants; each Participant retains full discretion over implementation of its pledges in light of the Participant’s individual circumstances, laws, and policies; and each Participant is free to withdraw from the Memorandum at any time.”

Now that is true progress.

You go Gavin!  

Come to think, you can even stay.